Unterrichtsfreie Zeit

May 15-August 15 is our "vacation" as I have heard several non-academics call it. People in academe know that it is an outside-of-contract time during which you do not get paid but yet work even harder. So in Germany this time period is more accurately referred to as “unterrichtsfreie Zeit” (i.e. non-teaching time). And really all summer means is that I do not have teaching commitments and there typically are only a few committee meetings. Yet, I still am writing letters of recommendations, answering questions from students, reading various milestone papers (comprehensive exams, QRPs, Capstones, ….). Naturally, I have to plan my courses for next year (three of them are new to me, and the fourth I need to really rework). Of course then I also help with the camp, hopefully even camps. On top of that is working on data analysis, new IRBs, setting up new projects, writing up completed projects, revising articles, etc…. But the great advantage is that since I do not have to teach, I can simply be anywhere doing this work. Right now Benni and I are in Germany. This is my last attempt to collect the kind of study abroad data that I really want. If it does not work out this time, then I just give up, I think. Of course Benni is being entertained by all my family and my mom’s kindergarten kids. So, I actually have some time to work. Today I even had an initial meeting with a student who will be doing her Capstone with me in the fall. She is currently doing her study abroad here in Freiburg. This weekend, I will set up my work plan for my four weeks here. This year I timed it so that we are here while my mom and my dad have their vacation/unterrichtsfreie Zeit. That will give me some very good work time and free child-care.

Grading Scale

Since I got to MSU, I have been frustrated with the grading system. I really would like to have more variance. There are some students who are sort of As but not as much As as others. I really would like to be able to give a 4.0, 3.75, 3.5, .... I feel like that would be more meaningful to the rest of the world. It's not like I can annotate the grades (e.g. Got an A with 97%, barely got an A, ...). But I also don't think it is fair to give the students a 3.5 only because we do not have a 3.75 at this university. I would even prefer the A, A-, B+ better. Because 3.5 has the taste of B+ and I have students who are clearly a range, just not solid A. So, I really would prefer to give them an A- rather than having to choice between 3.5 and 4.0. Granted, it's all a numbers game, and I don't give final grades. I sum the components and then I look at my grading scale and it is x or y. But because of this conflict between the 4.0 and the 3.5 I have set my bar a little lower for the 4.0. Which works in acknowledging the A part for the people who would have gotten the A- in other parts of the country, but it really does not make the true Aers special enough.
In general I furstrated with the grade system, especially in the lower level language classes. Because language develops through practice, a lot of the grade is made up of practice, i.e. effort. So let's say John and Jeremy get a B. Now, the assumption would be that there are both good speakers of German (given the level) and somewhat decent students. In reality that might be true, but it might also be that John is really not that great at German, but puts in a lot of effort, so still ends up mathematically a B. John might be terrific at German, but simply does not turn in the work. So, now they both have a B, but the meaning of that B is really totally different. I wish I could write how the grade came about. In a away, I guess, I liked the report rather than grade used at Reed College. I think that would also allows us to push students higher and at the same time accomodate better those that really want to learn but have a little bit more difficulty.

Meeting Marathon

Today was a meeting marathon: College faculty meeting, SLS faculty meeting, and the department faculty meeting. A lot of the information was redundant and in the end I could no longer sort out who said what. And most of the time I was thinking: I still have to grade so much.
But now I have finished looking at all the portfolios. I have graded many other random things. I am hoping to get all the grading done by Wednesday, this includes the reviewing of the QRP I got. Then I "just" have to plan my two workshops, the High School Camp, and the basic structure of the two courses I will be teaching in the Fall. All of that before I leave on the 11th. We shall see....

Proud for no good reason

This semester was my first time supervising a capstone project. The project, a documentary film about post-war German-American relations, is almost done. It looks really great. Even though I did nothing for the project, I am really proud of it. I take no credit for this project, the student was very self-driven and other than a little help with language here and a little help with additional resources there, it was really all her doing. She is a James Madison student and most of the James Madison students I have had, were really good. I feel so honored that she selected me to guide her through this project and I can't wait to see the final project. I am so proud of her!
The only thing that I will take credit for, is that I got her hooked on the movie making business through the German 301 multimedia project. She still gets help from her team mates from two years ago - it's cool to see that kind of long-lasting collaboration. That's why they called themselves "Die Supergruppe" :-)

Revising longer

I finished the revisions on the paper that I have worked on with two graduate students. The first two reviewers basically liked it and had few suggestions. The third reviewer liked it to, but had lots of really good suggestions. I think, the paper is much better now than it was. Unfortunately after taking those comments into account the paper is now also too long. What do you do? I hate when that happens.

The problem with feedback

My goal in teaching is to have students come out with a product, new knowledge and better skills. Since both undergraduate and graduate programs have moved away from sequenced courses and away from a long list of required courses, you never know what students know and don't know. Add to that, that you have a range from brave undergraduates to ABD graduate students in your graduate courses, it becomes messy. So, when I design my syllabi, I think of things that might be useful products for the students to prepare them for the job after the BA/MA/Ph.D. Of course I cannot expect PHDed quality yet, but I want to push them in that direction. Because of that I also give grades of "Revise & Resubmit" or "X is your grade now, but you can resubmit if this is not good enough for you." I give feedback, make suggestions for content and format, recommend other resources, etc. And then I somehow magically expect that the feedback will be looked at and incorporated. While many students do, some don't. And when it is something where the student had to understand something, then I start doubting how I phrased it, or what I have taught and I try again, but sometimes it's simple things (e.g. delete X because we don't write X information in this kind of writing). When simple things are ignored it really makes me frustrated because I don't know how else to get the message across. On the positive though, some students really do improve a lot from one version to the next and it is fantastic to see the growth. I have seen a lot of improvement in the teaching philsophies. That was great. There are also people who acknowledge that they understood my feedback, agree with it, but haven't figured out how to fix it yet. That is also great. And then there are those who say: saw your feedback, get it, but don't agree with it. And when it is argued well, then all the power to you!
What is not so great, is that because I am allowing these rewrites, I am ending up being completely overwhelmed with grading. I should be rewriting my own article and start work on another two, but I have been grading without a break. So the summary of my life right now is: AHHHHHHHH, I need a break!
We are almost there, though. :-)

2nd Annual SLS Symposium

The symposium is behind us and less things are on my to do list. :-) I was very impressed with our students, the quality of their work and the confidence with which they presented it. It was really good to see. Our guests and visitors echoed that sentiment (which of course made me even prouder of our students). John Norris and Judy Kroll also - as was expected - gave very interesting and engaging plenary talks. For my research and my position, John Norris' work is really important. I was so proud that even one of our German literature professors was in attendance. Always good to see people crossing departmental and disciplinary boundaries.

I want to thank

• the guest speakers, Judy Kroll and John Norris
• all the wonderful student presenters, Jamie Thomas, Ben White, Hiep Chau, Mark Shea, Sara Hillman, Kimi Nakatsukasa, Luke Plonsky, and Ching-Ni Hsieh
• the College of Arts and Letters, the English Language Center and the Second Language Studies Program for their financial support
• my co-organizers, Rebecca Foote and Kimi Nakatsukasa
• our helpers, Joan Reid and Russ Werner
• the audience members including but not limited to my colleagues from German Tom Lovik and Pat McConeghy, our colleage Anne Violin-Wigent from French, our colleague from Linguistic Grover Hudson, our visiting teachers from Germany, as well as several new to me faces from French, Spanish, Teacher Education, the ELC, and Psychology. And of course the many students from the MA TESOL program, the SLS program, and the programs already mentioned who attended the conference.

VIELEN DANK!

The battle of the testers

I am back from AAAL and still am a little in shock with the confrontational nature of the conference. It is so different from CALICO. The highlight of the conference was the plenary talk by Lyle Bachman which sparked much controversy, discussion, and emotions. It was entertaining to watch all the big names in the field go up and comment/ask questions/express their disagreement/etc. The following few colloquia and plenary talks appeared to all have implicit and explicit commentary in response to Lyle Bachman's talk. It was entertaining. The basic issue was the question of whether or not what we do has real-world impact and whether or not it is needed. Bachman's position was we need it and we do not have it. Those that do a lot of activitist work were offended by his general statement that applied linguists ignore the impact they could have. And I bet some of the people who do more laboratory or theory-building research were frustrated with the devalueing and disrepsecting of their research. Others were frustrated by his general call for activism since not all fields within applied linguistics lend themselves equally for such work, and furthermore such work does not have an adequate support structure in the profession.
Personally, I thought it was timely to say that all people in all kinds of professions need to think about how they can make a difference in their communities. It's just a matter of defining what community means and how big difference has to be before it can be considered difference. I have three big ideas that could have an impact on the community, but I am not sure how my insititutional structure and my status at the institution goes with my crazy ideas.

Cultural Differences

One of my CALICO-friends and I were just talking about the different cultures at AAAL and CALICO. We notice this every year. CALICO is so intimate and friendly, and AAAL often seems so huge and because of that probably more a place to show off what you know rather than working together to further research. Still inspiring, but the tone is very different. But at the end of the day AAAL is still way way friendlier than some of the other conferences I have attended in other places and in other fields, so I think as applied linguists we are a friendly bunch, just the bigger the venue, the more formal things get. But I am happy to report that so far I have seen good presentation at AAAL. I actually got really lucky at CALICO and only saw one mediocre presentation and all others were really great. So, AAAL has a lot to live up to. But now I am going to the Keynote by Bialystok so that should be great - I just saw her present two weeks ago in Tucson, AZ.
On a completely different note, I am also pleased about how many presenters brought their families along. It's great to see researchers who are also involved family members. I am with out family this time.

SLS Symposium

Come join us for the SLS Symposium.

Midterm Review - oops....

Some of my friends are currently going through the waiting period of either tenure or midterm review. It looks like a very unfun process - even when it goes well. Since I had a baby in my first semester, I requested that my tenure clock be stopped for a year, which was approved in 2007. According to the revised schedule I did not have to turn in my midterm portfolio in October 2008 but rather October 2009. But somewhere in the process of reviewing the midterm portfolios this year someone noticed that mine was missing. The logical conclusion would be that I have found work elsewhere and will be leaving the university or that I should be terminated. In times of tough budgets, that would actually be good news for the university. But I neither wish to leave nor wish for my contract to be terminated. I simply have another six months before I have to turn in my portfolio due to the extension. Somehow the records for this disappeared. This would all be fairly easily clear-up-able if I had actually taken parental leave or medical leave at which point the extension would have been automatic. But since I did not, I had to get special permission. It seems to me that when you are dumb enough to not take parental and medical leave, you should get the extra year for sure. But oh well.... In any case, the absence of the approval form caused quite the panic. It was eventually found and we can now all stay calm until October when I actually have to turn in my Midterm Portfolio. And then the waiting can begin.... The waiting is what gets to me. I am a control-freak and when I cannot control the situation, I go insane. So, next year and then the year when my tenure portfolio is being reviewed should be an interesting emotional roller-coaster. My grand master plan is to be the Resident Director for the Freiburg Program during the year my tenure portfolio is being reviewed, so that I am simply not here to watch the silence. It would also allow my son to complete first grade in Germany, which would be really cool and it would keep my mom busy who would be at the beginning of her retirement. It just would be an overall great plan. Except for the fact that I don't have seniority for the position. Oops, again....

CALICO

I have been learning lots of great things at CALICO. It is always a lot of fun to see what's new and catch up with people. The most inspiring was probably a session conducted on the intersect of SLA Theoery and CALL by Scott Payne, Bryan Smith, Steve Thorne, and Leo Van Lier. The presentation and the discussion were very interesting, once again showed how much more we have to learn. There have also been some great practical session such as he one conducted by Nike Arnold, Lara Ducate, and Gillian Lord, because it gave a great list of links. Unfortunately I missed seeing more details about the projects by Jonathan Reinhard, Julie Sykes, and Steve Thorne. There work on gaming is very innovative. In addition to the presentations, I also found a cool program at the Showcase that helps CALL students to evaluate software by Claire Bradin Siskin. As always I appreciated hearing the ICALL work by Mat Schulze and Trude Heift, even though it is way above my head. But I think it is very important work and I am gald to see that this year's winner of the Outstanding Graduate Student Award was a ICALLer, Peter Wood. Of course I was also super excited that Paula Winke and I received the Outstanding Article of the Year Award. The workshops, the board meeting, the conference, and the venue were excellent. It was nice to be in the sun and with great people.

PPT about doing research

This is from the editors of Language Learning and Teaching about conducting and publishing research. This might be helpful. Click here for the PPT.

Massaging data

I am in a workshop on CMC data massaging lead by Bryan Smith and Scott Payne. Julie Sykes is sitting next to me and she is twittering her students, so I thought I would blog for mine. We are learning how to use FileMaker Pro to create relational databases. Of course as always in technology classes/presentations/courses, we have had our share of technology problems. Nonetheless it will be great, because it will safe tons of time. This might help me finally deal with my huge pool of data from my dissertation.

Stopping Time and Getting Funding

So, I figured out how to stop time and get funding for travel. Since our travel support doesn't even cover one conference, let alone the two or three I attend per year, we are always looking for additional funding sources. And of course everyone is always looking for a way to stop time to catch up on all the things that never make it past the bottom of the to-d0-list because of all the normal fires and urgencies. Today, I figured out how to both.
When I checked in for my flight yesterday, the computer told me that it was overbooked and I could put in a bid to get a voucher in exchange for the seat. I could even set the amount. So, I figured I take the amount that I paid for the ticket (that's what I did for AAAL and it is getting me to AAAL this year). I also flew out of DTW instead of LAN because it was a lot cheaper. And then I decided to take the bus - which is awesome because it has wireless internet. So I caught up with all the grading in one course by the time I got to the airport. Then I did some more data processing, reviewed some proposals and went to the gate. At the gate I found out that I was first on the list and could fly out 7 hours later first class. So, that's the plan now. CALICO flight next year is now co-sponsored. I have graded everything for my other course. Now I started course preparation for when I get back. I have 3 more hours left and then 4 hours on the plane. Thanks for the nice warning at check-in, I packed accordingly (extra food, extra clothes, lots of things to work on).
I like this new genius plan. I just don't want that on my red eye back, because I am already flying into my birthday.... But it's the end of Spring break and a popular destination that I am coming from......Now I must eat.

As if the plate wasn't full enough...

When I told one of my dissertation members that I was pregnant (while also preparing a cross-country move, teaching 5 courses, and writing my dissertation), she responded: As if your plate wasn't full enough - you had to add more.
Even though her comment is three years old, I still think about is some times and smile. It's crazy time right now. I am revising two revise & resubmit papers, finishing one for submission, preparing 5 conference presentation, trying to stay on top of my teaching and my committee/meeting responsibilities, and of course stay on top of my physical therapy, mommy shuttle service duties, and spending at least a little time with my husband and my son. I had already decided yesterday that life is just too insane right now, and then this morning my husband calls me and says: The police are at our house. I think the worst of course. He did, too, when they knocked, because he thought that I had driven to campus and so when the police-officer knocked and told him: "We have bad news for you. Your white car got hit." He assumed I was in it and pronounced dead at the scene. While the situation is not at all as scary as each of us thought, it still means that our car got hit and we have to deal with insurance companies, police reports, and repair shops all the while staying on top of everything else and getting ready for a trip. Oh and then day-care told me that they did not have empty spots even though I requested them a month ago. Now the plate is really overflowing.

Revise and resubmit

When I was still in graduate school, I considered a publication decision of "revise and resubmit" a rejection. Now, I get excited about such decisions. First of all the reviewer comments usually help you make a better product. Second, sometimes the reviewer comments give you ideas for new research projects. Third, if you address the reviewer comments and put in the work, you can have a publication at the end. That all is exciting.
What excited me most about the revise and resubmit decision I recieved today was that it is an article I co-authored with two students as a result of a class I taught last year. It makes me feel like the course actually accomplished something. A class project that a colleague did with his grad course just got published in MLJ. I think that is just awesome and would love to be able to provide that experience to my students one day, too.

Research subjects

We work so hard to protect the identity of our subjects and yet very often it is still impossible. For example, I am the teacher-participant in a study, and there are probably a great number of people who knew that I was the only one teaching the course described during the time the researcher completed her degree. It doesn't matter to me really, but it goes to show that you cannot hide the identity all the time. When Elaine collected her data, I always thought, I would read her dissertation one day. But then I felt so uncomfortable when she gave a talk at a conference about her dissertation. I felt like my presence in the room was compromising how honest she could be. So, I decided I wasn't going to read her dissertation. It might also be why I still have not published from my dissertation. There are many people who know who the teachers in my study were, and one of them is in our field, so I feel weird writing about them in a really public forum (beyond the dissertation that noone reads). Yesterday evening, one of my students stopped by and asked me if I ever published about their projects and I said, as a matter of fact I am just now completing the final revisions on the paper. He was very excited and asked me if he could have a copy of the paper when it is done, because he would like to share it with his family. That was a first for me. And it made me feel good about publishing about people, because in a way we make them famous (very little famous, but still...). And also a subject might learn something about himself/herself by reading about what we have to say about them. So, may be, it is not all bad that some participants can be traced or trace themselves in a publication.

SWBAT, COW, ....

You learn something new each day. While I will never be able to "speak" texting, I feel somewhat in control of the acronyms used in my field. From AAAL to ZOPD I am covered. But once in a while I encounter another one. At a workshop I was leading I learned that the teachers were hesitant to implement technology because of a lack of cows. After 4 hours of such argumentations, I had to finally ask, what these milk-makers had to do with CALL. Turns out, COWs are Computers On Wheels. Since then I like using "COW." Well, today I learned a new one!!! I am grading Plan T's first annotated activities. Many of the MATESOL students kept writing SWBAT. Of course I read it as SWAT for the first few times, and really did not see a connection between SWAT and learning goals for a lesson on Valentine's Day. By the third student I had discovered the additional "B" and had figured out that I must be missing some crucial point that appears to be universal to my students. Dazed and confused I asked my colleague, a MATESOL Alumna, and in a split second she said "Students will be able to." I am glad it wasn't another age thing, but rather, being trained at a different institution. Now TWBAT understand students' assignments much better.

Graduate School....

When people ask me, whether they should go to graduate school, I usually answer: if you can't live without a Ph.D., then do it. This year is another very sad example why grad school just does not pay off. Here two stories from the Chronicle: http://chronicle.com/jobs/news/2009/01/2009013001c.htm
http://chronicle.com/free/v55/i24/24b01201.htm?utm_source=pm&utm_medium=en

Die Theorie und die Praxis....

In German we say: theoretisch moeglich, praktisch dann aber nicht umsetzbar. This means that while things might theoretically be possible, in reality they might not really work out. I got here at 8 in the morning with a theoretically possible to-do-list. But then, a colleague from another university called and needed feedback on a research project proposal. Then an email dropped into my inbox from the editor of a book in which I will have a chapter. Initially they said no revisions, but now they have revisions. It's nothing major, but enough to get me distracted for a while. On the positive I did manage to finish preparing class and setting everything up for tomorrow. I just feel like I am barely keeping my head above water again. The idealistic view of mine to have two weeks of classes prepared out, to have my presentations for AAAL and CALICO ready and to have all the revisions on the article and the two book chapters completed are turning out to be theoretically possible dreams but not really close to reality. Theoretically possible, because if I were to work 80 hours a week these things would be possible. But then my son would have to say on more days "Mama arbeiten. Benni traurig." And that just breaks my heart. My realization that my goals were not feasible brought me back to a meeting I went to on Thursday. In the meeting we (faculty members of various units) were told that we (our time and thoughts) are owned by the university. This means whatever great thoughts we might have and whatever great developments come out of it, belong to the university. This is not so much an issue to me, because there is no pharmaceutical company waiting to buy my research results. But the time thing does apply to me, not in the way that it came up, but as a general principle. One person in the audience mentioned that he had several grants secured for the summer. On each grant you have to indicate how much percentage of your time you will devote to that activity - note: percentage not hours!!! So, this 'poor' man had now received so many grants that he was above 100% which is not possible. He argued that he would just work more, but the discussion leader said that regardless of whether you work 30 hours or 100 hours you still only have 100%. Seems fuzzy math to me, but it's the way the game works. In contrast to the 'poor' gentleman at the session, I am not out of percentages, but I am out of hours.

Local hero

On Monday when I drove my son to day-care I saw an ambulance and a fire-truck. The paramedics were carrying out a little girl. Immediately it made me think of last year in May when Benni had his first febrile seizure. It was terrifying and I certainly don’t want to experience anything like that ever again (though we got pretty close again Monday night). The paramedics, police, fire fighters, nurses, doctors, etc were all awesome and responded so quickly and calmly. That day, they were the heroes that they are always claimed to be. But as I was driving past the fire-truck and being terrified, I thought, they were the heroes that day, but everyday there is a different hero for my family. She is no fire-fighter, no paramedic, no medical doctor, just a Ph.D. But over the last three years, she has rescued me and my family on so many occasions in so many ways: emergency baby-sitting; taking care of the dogs while I gave birth in a new town; fighting her way through a snow-storm to pick up my son who got kicked out of day-care for being sick but neither I nor my husband could make it to day-care; excusing me at an important meeting that I totally forgot about and calling me immediately after to tell me what my excuse was; taking turns rocking my son or typing while we were stuck at the Chicago airport and had to finish a paper due the next day; bringing me lunch on days where I can’t get lunch; proof-reading and giving feedback on paper drafts any time or day; reminding me of deadlines; offering to take Benni to the doctor after he fell down the stairs and I had to go to DTW to pick up my parents; offering feedback and advice no matter what the topic; supporting the German language maintenance of my entire family; sharing hotel rooms at conferences with me and my son and helping take care of him; … and she does it all with a smile. I would not be able to stay sane, let alone do my job without her. She deserves a special entry into the blog – could be our inspiration to finally finishing that co-authored paper on blogging.
And she is not just a hero in our lives, but also a great resource. On Monday alone, I sent three students to her because I thought she had more information than I did. More amazingly, she actually takes the time and helps people who are not related to her job responsibilities. All the while, she seems to work around the clock to actually keep up with her job responsibilities.
How do you thank a person like that? No gift seems big enough and no gesture grant enough to express how much we appreciate everything that she does.

A 30 hour day

I am in desperate need of 30 hour days. Not for everyone, just for me. Because if everyone gets 30 hours, than it doesn't help me at all.... I am always jealous of my graduate school friend KMB. She only needs 4 hours of sleep a night and she is super productive and happy from the second she gets up until the second before she falls asleep. I want to be like her. The things I could accomplish, if I had not inherited my maternal grandfather’s genes. We need at least 8 hours of sleep per night and we are dysfunctional the last two hours and really grumpy the first two of hours of our waking time. For example, last night I wanted to give feedback to my students in the discussion forum, but I noticed that I had to read each entry five times before it made sense – no fault of the students, but rather my tired brain.
On the bright side I did finally send off that article and the editor indicated that he was happy with it now. YEAH. I also went to the USCIS office in Detroit and actually dealt with a very friendly yet extremely confused Immigration Officer. While I should feel relieved that now my greencard is being created, I was rather freaked out that she took my old greencard all my original documents and stuck them in an envelope to send them to a mysterious office. When I told her that I would have to travel to Germany in May, she put a stamp in my passport and said: “I would suggest you avoid travelling with this, it usually sparks a lot of questions.” How comforting!!!! But this little adventure ate up 5 hours of my Thursday. But again there is a bright side: I got to try out my husband’s GPS system and had fun messing ‘her’ up. I kept taking different routes than ‘she’ suggested. And she kept saying patiently “recalculating.” Unfortunately, the drive pushed my back over the edge again. I saw the doctor on Wednesday and will now have physical therapy three times a week. We shall see how I hold up teaching for 6 hours today.
Most importantly all absolutely must-do-s on my to-do-list are done, but all the should-really-get-to-them items are still to be completed. Oh well…. 30 hour days and good health is what I need.

Friday = Meeting day

There seems to be something universal about Fridays and the academe. Meetings inadvertently happen on Fridays. While as seen in the picture many people have negative opinions, I have a very positive relationship with Fridays, because my Friday meeting tradition started in a wonderful way at Portland State University. PSU was my first employer when I came to the US. I taught and at some points was in charge of 2nd year German. The person in charge of 1st year I had very different ideas than I did. But rather than complain about each other and get into big arguments, he suggested a civil way of conflict resolution: Friday lunches. A very wise recommendation. So, every Friday we had lunch together and came prepared with articles and data to support our opinion and convince the other person of the ultimate wrongness of their opinions. Of course we were both a little right and a little wrong and mostly just very different. Over the course of our three years together, we compromised and came out more informed. I blame Friday lunches for getting into SLA and for getting into CALL (I used to be the one opposed to technology and my colleague first pushed me over the edge and then pulled me closer). I am very grateful for all that he has done and all that he has taught me over the years. So Friday meetings still has a somewhat good flavor to me.
Today Friday meetings consists of two meetings with students, one committee meeting, and one briefing meeting. The committee I am on is charged with rethinking or revisiting our German undergraduate curriculum. I actually enjoy this kind of process. It is so hard to figure out what students should know and be able to do at the end of being a major or a minor in German or just someone who took up to 400 level courses. And what are the steps in between and how do you get there? What assignments and what structure best support the process of learning the content and developing the skills we identified as program goals? Big questions… I’ll keep you posted.

Two colleagues just walked by and one said to the other: It must be Friday. It's only 11:30 and this is my third meeting. Very fitting to the theme of this entry.

Sprache

I have been thinking a lot about language lately. I expected to speak more in German in my German grad course and I am noticing that I am not. I only took a few graduate courses taught in German, my graduate training was all in the United States, and 99% of what I read for academic purposes is in English. Hence, talking about something related to my field in German does not come natural to me. Of course, I already new that, which is why I was so excited about teaching a graduate course for just German students. For the same reason I also went on a shopping trip to the university book store in Freiburg last year. I bought several textbooks for courses that I could potentially teach. Unfortunately I have not had time to read them. But I also bought a book called "Statistik fuer Sprachwissenschaftler" this is turning out to be a good one. Because it teaches me both the English and the German terms, teaches me R, and teaches me statistics. So, I am accomplishing three goals at the price of one. And after finishing the first chapter, I am quite happy with my choice. We shall see how long I can make it. Since my TV will not make the digital revolution, I should have more time soon.
Another thing about language is my son. We raise him bilingually and I started noticing that his English is starting to be more dominant again. This makes me really scared about next year when he goes to daycare full-time. Today he was the star in Gelika's Teaching Methods course. The topic was bilingual education. The whole family served as guest speakers for Gelika and her 33 friends. Benni did awesome, I thought. The students asked a lot of interesting questions. This made me even more aware of the fact that this bilingual thing will be an uphill battle. I really would love for him to be comfortable in both languages in as many situations as possible. It would be great if he could experience school in both places and languages. I want him to be an even better bilingual than me. I know, we parents, have so many unrealistic expectations. But, hey, all I can do is try, right?

Annual Report

Every first Monday in February, we have to report what we accomplished in the previous academic year. The report includes 28 points that need to be addressed and then you have to provide evidence for all those things. The hardest thing about this report is remembering all that you did and finding all the relevant materials. After everyone has submitted this report, we have to review the people who work in a similar area. Then some other people evaluate the reports, and then some funky numbering and ranking happens and at the end you get a letter that tells you what you did right and wrong and where you rank. Based on that you get another letter that alocates the potential merit increases based on your ranking. It's all very complex and somewhat random. But I try to see the positive in it. It gives me a chance to reflect on what I did, where I need to improve, and what I want to accomplish next. My conclusion this year: I am happy with what I did last year, but I want to take it to the next level this year.

Did you publish today?

Did you publish today? is the title of a first person piece written by Rachel Toor for the Chronicle of Higher Education. When I first read it, it immediately resonated with me. In short, the article discussed that as academics, we have little to show for at the end of a day. It is hard to know when an academic is working and when he/she is not. Even harder to explain to a non-academic the process of tenure (i.e., being on probation for seven years). My husband, a tree guy, can show me what he did each day. There was a tree, and now it is gone. I can’t do the same (there was no line on the paper, now there is one!?!?!). But what I can say for the day today: I submitted a paper; I made 4 worksheets, 2 grading criteria sheets; put away the articles I needed for the paper I wrote; organized my stuff for class; made all copies for class; wasted some time looking for images; read some discussion forum postings; started working on my annual report… So, did I publish today? No, but I got a tiny bit closer.

When it rains ...

It seems like that when the work comes, it just comes. I was happily working along on my research leave. Now I am getting all these requests for revisions on publications I submitted, while still finishing a first submit. It seems like I have a deadline every week. Somehow I also ended up (I may have volunteered) on a few new committees. I was going to say "no" more in the new year, but it sounded interesting.... My calendar is already all black and blue again. I sometimes just flip forward to September where the page is still empty. Then there is the issue of setting up the new studies, getting grants for them, and finishing the ones to be presented at AAAL and CALICO. At the same time, I am tying to stay on top of my teaching. I have really great students this semester (and I am not just writing this because they might be reading this). Several have already come to my office to discuss their projects. The discussions and blogs are fascinating to read. So, I want to give it my all. I just finished preparing class, but still have the goal of getting the week after prepared, too. It will have to wait until Sunday though. And when I read the articles, some of them I have read at least 20 times, I always find something new. And I always get lost in them. I should just quickly reread them, instead I stop and ponder. Since I am still fairly new to teaching graduate students, I always struggle how to make it practical, theoretical, and empirical enough and not too much. And then of course there are the varied backgrounds of the students. It should make for an interesting semester.
Now I have 25 minutes to finish the article and create one more worksheet before I have to pick up my son from day-care.

Frau und Beruf

Dies ist ein interessanter Artikel ueber ein neues Geschaeftsmodell fuer Frauen mit Kindern. Ich frage mich, ob so ein Modell auch in diesem Land erlaubt waere, oder ob es die Antidiskriminierungsgesetze brechen wuerde:
http://www.spiegel.de/unispiegel/jobundberuf/0,1518,600388,00.html

Deemed lawful

After 3 years of deliberating, the Department of Homeland Security has decided that I am deemed a lawful permanent resident of this country. I am excited, because now I don’t have to worry about my status for a while. And I don’t have to deal with the Department of Homeland Security anymore. They seemed so much nicer when they were still the Immigration and Naturalization Services. “Services” that sounds like they want to help you. Homeland Security makes you feel like you are the threat to the homeland of these people who you live around (I am even married to one and gave birth to one). This is not my homeland, so I know my security is not protected, but rather I am one that this country needs protecting from. And when you go down to the Detroit field office, you feel it. You know, that you are threat to this country (I am not of course, but I feel like it during the 30 minutes I sit in that office). So, I am glad, I only have to go down to the field office one more time this year. And then, I should be at peace for ten years.
Now, I can simply go abroad and don’t have to worry about whether the officer will acknowledge the not-so-official-looking stamp from the field office. I am no longer at the mercy of the mood of the officer. That is liberating.
My husband asked me if I now wanted to start the naturalization process. I am not sure. First of all, I would most likely have to give up my German citizenship. But how can you give up on your homeland? Even if I don’t live there anymore and do not plan to move back, it is still where I am from and what defines me. How can I deny that? This decision is very interesting, especially in relation to the readings for my Culture course. What is the relationship between this piece of paper (the passport) and who you are? Would I really be a different person if I traded in the red passport for a blue one? I already traded in a green passport for a red passport when we switched to EU passports and I was fine. Except that I still am always shocked when I see a person with a red passport who does not speak German. I have to remind myself that red passport is for the EU, which is more than Germany. My husband thought that I would be excited to become a citizen because then I could vote. I confessed to him that I only voted in Germany once. Since then I have lived in the US, and felt like I should not vote on decisions that won’t affect me, because I no longer live in Germany. But I also do not feel like I should vote here, because I am not from here. So what does that mean? Is a person who does not vote in the elections of its country still a member of that cultural society? We often simplify the definition of belonging to a culture/nation by fixating on passport, right to vote, and the language. I tried the citizenship tests in the Sueddeutsche Zeitung for the US and for Germany and I did okay on both, so does that mean that I should be a citizen of both countries? I also speak both languages. And does citizenship really translate to cultural belonging? Meaning, if I changed my citizenship would I suddenly feel American? Would others in this country suddenly treat me as an American or would I still be the alien to them?

Balancing Motherhood and Work

On Monday there will be no classes because of MLK day, but it is not a university holiday. Yet, my son's day-care decided to close anyways. I was fine with that, until I got an email this morning at 9:03am. Because there are no classes, my two bosses thought it would be a great time for meetings because all people would be available. In theory that was a great argument, in practice it means that all of us who have kids, will have to find a solution. I am sure I will, but it just always reminds me that working is a lot more complicated when you have a child. Yet, I would not want to miss either (motherhood or my job), because each gives me balance and strength for the other.
On the one hand, situations like this make me wish that my family would live close. On the other hand, these situations are always a testament to the great friends and neighbors I have here. There is always someone who pulls through for me. I am very grateful.
My colleagues and my bosses have also been really supportive and creative and helping me be able to balance motherhood and work. So far both my sections have always assigned me to courses that worked with my day-care schedule at that time. I have really appreciated that. It's only once in a while that something gets scheduled at a time that I was planning on being home with Benni. Luckily I always have ample warning to make something work somehow.

Kulturguttests

Die Sueddeutsche Zeitung hat ein paar interessante Tests im Internet zum Thema Kulturgut (oder Allgemeinwissen der Bevoelkerung). Hier ist der link: http://www.sueddeutsche.de/jobkarriere/special/180/179628/

Grad School Humor

One of graduate school friends just sent me this about graduate school (while I don't agree with all statements, it did make me laugh):

You just might be a graduate student if...

• you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate
• your office is better decorated than your apartment
• you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet
• you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read
• you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar
• you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop
• everything reminds you of something in your discipline
• you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event
• you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying whileresearching a single paper
• there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider"yours."
• you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche
• you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library
• you look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes
• you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin
• you consider all papers to be works in progress
• professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore
• you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text
• you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area
• you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation
• you reflexively start analyzing those Greek letters before you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation
• you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20thgrade"
• you start referring to stories like "Snow White et al."
• you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy
• you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry
• you have more photocopy cards than credit cards
• you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as"personal communication"

Gearing up!

Classes start tomorrow and I walked through the beautiful snow to my office. Sundays are great days to work in the office. Few people are around and those that are, are super focused. This allows me to spread out and work on ten projects at the same time. During the week, I try a little more to appear as if I had things under control. I make nice piles that appear to have a purpose. But today, I am trying to end all my research leave projects and to get ready for teaching two graduate courses this semester. No major tasks, but lots of little loose ends to tie (finish the lit review, proof-read a paper, book a conference flight, write discussion questions for the first readings,….).
Both classes are completely prepared, including all photo copies. But one is on technology, so there is always the danger of the failing technology. Might sound strange coming from a CALL person, but it's true. The other course is on teaching culture and most of the students in the course are German Studies students. So, we shall see if we can talk about a similar thing when we talk about culture.
Now, I am working on getting the second teaching day prepared and to finish a paper I have been working on for a while. I have to write the literature review: to me the most challenging part of a paper. And so I usually save it until the end. Questionable, whether that is a good strategy.
But I am excited to be back in the classroom. Teaching from 11:30 until 5:50 with only a short break during which I have to hike across campus, now seems like a silly idea. I am not even sure how this teaching schedule came about, but it is always challenging to coordinate both the German and the LLT schedule with me teaching a course in each. The good thing is that two crazy students decided to stick to this crazy schedule with me. Mondays will be rough for the three of us. But Tuesdays I stay home with my son, so that is a nice recovery day for a hectic Monday.