After 3 years of deliberating, the Department of Homeland Security has decided that I am deemed a lawful permanent resident of this country. I am excited, because now I don’t have to worry about my status for a while. And I don’t have to deal with the Department of Homeland Security anymore. They seemed so much nicer when they were still the Immigration and Naturalization Services. “Services” that sounds like they want to help you. Homeland Security makes you feel like you are the threat to the homeland of these people who you live around (I am even married to one and gave birth to one). This is not my homeland, so I know my security is not protected, but rather I am one that this country needs protecting from. And when you go down to the Detroit field office, you feel it. You know, that you are threat to this country (I am not of course, but I feel like it during the 30 minutes I sit in that office). So, I am glad, I only have to go down to the field office one more time this year. And then, I should be at peace for ten years.
Now, I can simply go abroad and don’t have to worry about whether the officer will acknowledge the not-so-official-looking stamp from the field office. I am no longer at the mercy of the mood of the officer. That is liberating.
My husband asked me if I now wanted to start the naturalization process. I am not sure. First of all, I would most likely have to give up my German citizenship. But how can you give up on your homeland? Even if I don’t live there anymore and do not plan to move back, it is still where I am from and what defines me. How can I deny that? This decision is very interesting, especially in relation to the readings for my Culture course. What is the relationship between this piece of paper (the passport) and who you are? Would I really be a different person if I traded in the red passport for a blue one? I already traded in a green passport for a red passport when we switched to EU passports and I was fine. Except that I still am always shocked when I see a person with a red passport who does not speak German. I have to remind myself that red passport is for the EU, which is more than Germany. My husband thought that I would be excited to become a citizen because then I could vote. I confessed to him that I only voted in Germany once. Since then I have lived in the US, and felt like I should not vote on decisions that won’t affect me, because I no longer live in Germany. But I also do not feel like I should vote here, because I am not from here. So what does that mean? Is a person who does not vote in the elections of its country still a member of that cultural society? We often simplify the definition of belonging to a culture/nation by fixating on passport, right to vote, and the language. I tried the citizenship tests in the Sueddeutsche Zeitung for the US and for Germany and I did okay on both, so does that mean that I should be a citizen of both countries? I also speak both languages. And does citizenship really translate to cultural belonging? Meaning, if I changed my citizenship would I suddenly feel American? Would others in this country suddenly treat me as an American or would I still be the alien to them?
When you say that you aren't "at the mercy of the mood of the officer" that really puts into perspective how it can be very frustrating to live somewhere and have your life be built around a place where you are not a citizen. That would be scary.
ReplyDeleteAs for becoming a citizen, well, I don't know if I could make you feel differently on the matter, but in my opinion you have every right to vote in this country, and you should feel that you do! I mean, you not only live here and HAVE lived here for several years, but you have established your life here.
Voting not only effects you, but such things can effect your way of life, your child, your husband, etc. You definitely have a right to have a say in who runs this country because being not a natural citizen there can be laws and amendments which could greatly effect you, I'm not saying you HAVE to vote, I mean obviously that is totally a personal decision, but I AM saying you shouldn't feel discouraged JUST because you weren't born here or aren't from here.
To me that is what America is about - that we're all from everywhere and every citizen has an equal say (you know, unless you're from Rhode Island or Wyoming or something like that - but the electoral college is a whole other debate.) But it is understandable that you would feel like a part of you is being taken away if you lost your German citizenship, and I don't know anything about the possibilities of having dual citizenship. I mean, I couldn't imagine not being a U.S. citizen even if I had an established life in say, Germany.
On a lighter note, I find the passport anecdote interesting - purely on the fact that here in the U.S. no one really considers a passport to be any sort of identification other than a legal document of your citizenship. It's just that the U.S. is huge and we don't need a passport to travel within it and if we want to go to any of the boardering countries a passport is not really required (though they are trying to change that.) Because of this, a passport is not really a need and I know tons of people who don't even have one. I myself didn't have one til 2007 when I studied abroad in Mayen. In Europe however, it's totally different - almost everyone has one because there are so many boardering countires where it is required and each country is much smaller than the U.S. I just found that part fascinating where you explain how a passport is more than just a legal identity to you - that is something that I would not be able to comprehend if I had not witnessed it for myself in Europe.
Unfortunately, the definition of an American is so wishy-washy, and this fact touches upon the questions you brought up in your comment to MY blog, as to why American try to definte themselves by their ancestry. I mean, you could ask a person five feet away from me and they could give you a completely different reply saying that you could never be American and that you don't deserve to vote. And in my opinion that person would be over-conservative and sadly ignorant, but they are out there, along with more and less credible definitions of what it means to be "American."
It's such a strange concept to be a in-between-citizen. My mother-in-law has lived here for 48 years, but she still has a German passport, votes in neither country, .... She spent all her adulthood here, but she still feels more like a German than an American.
ReplyDeleteAs for your question about dual citizenship. There is a clause under which it is possible, I am just not sure if I would qualify.